I definitely don't want September to come and go without blogging! Now that I have my life under control, have started school, and have free time at night, it's the perfect time to pick up blogging again! I'm sure as the school year goes on, I'm going to have LOTS of funny stories to share. :) Speaking of school, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE my job! I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to be a teacher this year. My students truly are wonderful! The first week went sooooo much better than I expected it to. I was expecting something to go horribly wrong... but nothing did. If anything, I'm excited for the school year, and I'm really hoping I can make a difference in at least one students life.
Lately, outside of school, I've been feeling like I live a double life. I feel like I am a peppy, fun person at school, but when I come home, I feel worthless and like I matter to no one... There have been a lot of changes over the summer with friends and family, and up til now, I've never felt so alone. By the end of the year, all of my close friends will be married, or engaged... I'm so happy for them, but also wish that I was in a similar situation. I don't really ever have plans anymore- everyone else is busy living their lives. So, I sit home, pinning on pinterest, while other's are out dating and having fun. Maybe things will change for me sometime, but for now, I'm having a hard time. It's okay to feel like this every once in a while, right? It's one of those things that I don't really know how to overcome. I would LOVE to have someone to talk to/do something with. But where do I find someone like that? I don't know.
For the next few months, the only thing I can count on to truly bring me happiness is football. There is nothing I love more than watching the Cougars play. Being in the stadium is definitely one of my most favorite places to be. I don't know why, and really it shouldn't matter. It's the one thing in my life that truly makes me happy, and hey, it gives me something to do. Hooray for having something to look forward to each week for the next few months!
I've had several things on my mind for the past few weeks, and there is one that is driving me up the wall. I'm not the kind of person who is going to just text anyone for the fun of it. If I text someone, I usually have a question, have something to tell them, or just generally want them to know that I am thinking about them. Going along this texting theme, whenever I get a text, I make sure to respond because I absolutely HATE when someone doesn't respond. And, this has been happening a lot to me lately it seems like. Now sure, I understand people get busy, and things come up, but when someone doesn't respond, or responds with one word, I get annoyed. (Obviously this has happened to me tonight, which is why I'm so annoyed and talking about it.) I'm in need of a venting session, and figured this was the best place to do it. Tomorrow I'll be fine, but for tonight, I'm annoyed.
Some people look at me and ask how i'm so happy. Truth is, I'm not. But I'm trying my best each and every day to do what I should. I'm trying to live the best that I can in hopes that one day something wonderful happens. I'm hoping to get out of this deep, dark slump I've been in for quite some time. And I know it's going to take time. Once, when I was given a blessing by my dad, he told me "this too shall pass." And that's what gets me through the day. These bad/hard days are going to end. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a week. But someday... And someday is a day worth holding on for.
